Every day during Lent, members of Oconee Street UMC will write a Lenten devotional and share with the congregation.
by Rebecca Alpaugh
March 12, 2014
Therefore, I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
I have always thought of myself as a go with the flow, accept the situation and move on kind of person. The past year challenged that image of me.
Truthfully, the flow was too turbulent for my comfort. My house was burglarized, my church burned down, too many people I knew died, and my best friends moved to Texas. Ideas about who I thought I was and who I thought I wanted to be began to seem all wrong. I wanted answers and there did not seem to be any that I could identify as “correct.” Thus, I began my journey towards learning to live with the questions.
It has been uncomfortable and most days I do not like it at all. However, it feels more real than the life of creating answers to match the situation. I have felt more lost in the past few months than I have since I was a teenager. Yet, I have felt more loved and accepted by God. I am consciously trying to let go of thinking that I have to perfect before I can be loved.
Historically, Lent has always made me uncomfortable. I don’t like waiting for the inevitable crucifixion even though I know from the story that there will be a resurrection. This year I will approach Lent with different eyes and a different heart. I will try to embrace the discomfort of Lent that mirrors the discomfort of our life journey; a journey with more questions than answers and more turbulence than peaceful flow.
God, please help me embrace the discomfort, questions and turbulence of everyday life. May I see the holiness in not knowing the “correct” answers. Amen.